What are cookie clicker's secret achievements?

Some achievements in cookie clicker show up only with "???" description and sometimes also as name. What are their names and requirements?

3 Answers

Here is the full list of achievements:

Here is the table broken down. ??? are bolded.

Row|Column| Achievement | Criteria ---+------+-----------------------------+------------------------------------  1 | 1 | Wake and bake | Bake 1 cookie  1 | 2 | Making some dough | Bake 100 cookies  1 | 3 | So baked right now | Bake 1,000 cookies  1 | 4 | Fledgling bakery | Bake 10,000 cookies  1 | 5 | Affluent bakery | Bake 100,000 cookies  1 | 6 | World-famous bakery | Bake 1,000,000 cookies  1 | 7 | Cosmic bakery | Bake 10,000,000 cookies  1 | 8 | Galactic bakery | Bake 100,000,000 cookies  2 | 1 | Universal bakery | Bake 1,000,000,000 cookies  2 | 2 | Timeless bakery | Bake 5,000,000,000 cookies  2 | 3 | Infinite bakery | Bake 10,000,000,000 cookies  2 | 4 | Immortal bakery | Bake 50,000,000,000 cookies  2 | 5 | You can stop now | Bake 100,000,000,000 cookies  2 | 6 | Cookies all the way down | Bake 500,000,000,000 cookies  2 | 7 | Overdose | Bake 1,000,000,000,000 cookies  2 | 8 | How? | Bake 10,000,000,000,000 cookies  3 | 1 | Casual baking | Bake 1 cookie per second.  3 | 2 | Hardcore baking | Bake 10 cookies per second.  3 | 3 | Steady tasty stream | Bake 100 cookies per second.  3 | 4 | Cookie monster | Bake 1,000 cookies per second.  3 | 5 | Mass producer | Bake 10,000 cookies per second.  3 | 6 | Cookie vortex | Bake 100,000 cookies per second.  3 | 7 | Cookie pulsar | Bake 1,000,000 cookies per second.  3 | 8 | Cookie quasar | Bake 10,000,000 cookies per second.  4 | 1 | A world filled with cookies | Bake 100,000,000 cookies per second.  4 | 2 | Let's never bake again | Bake 1,000,000,000 cookies per second. 4 | 3 | Clicktastic | Make 1,000 cookies from clicking. 4 | 4 | Clickathlon | Make 100,000 cookies from clicking. 4 | 5 | Clickolympics | Make 10,000,000 cookies from clicking. 4 | 6 | Clickorama | Make 1,000,000,000 cookies from clicking. 4 | 7 | Clickasmic | Make 100,000,000,000 cookies from clicking. 4 | 8 | Click | Have 1 cursor. 5 | 1 | Double-click | Have 2 cursors. 5 | 2 | Mouse wheel | Have 50 cursors. 5 | 3 | Of Mice and Men | Have 100 cursors. 5 | 4 | The Digital | Have 200 cursors.  5 | 5 | Just wrong | Sell a grandma. 5 | 6 | Grandma's cookies | Have 1 grandma. 5 | 7 | Sloppy kisses | Have 50 grandmas. 5 | 8 | Retirement home | Have 100 grandmas. 6 | 1 | Friend of the ancients | Have 150 grandmas. 6 | 2 | Ruler of the ancients | Have 200 grandmas.  6 | 3 | Elder | Own every grandma type. (Antigrandmas not neccesary) 6 | 4 | My first farm | Have 1 farm. 6 | 5 | Reap what you sow | Have 50 farms. 6 | 6 | Farm ill | Have 100 farms. 6 | 7 | Production chain | Have 1 factory. 6 | 8 | Industrial revolution | Have 50 factories. 7 | 1 | Global warming | Have 100 factories. 7 | 2 | You know the drill | Have 1 mine. 7 | 3 | Excavation site | Have 50 mines. 7 | 4 | Hollow the planet | Have 100 mines. 7 | 5 | Expedition | Have 1 shipment. 7 | 6 | Galactic highway | Have 50 shipments. 7 | 7 | Far far away | Have 100 shipments. 7 | 8 | Transmutation | Have 1 alchemy lab. 8 | 1 | Transmogrification | Have 50 alchemy labs. 8 | 2 | Gold member | Have 100 alchemy labs. 8 | 3 | A whole new world | Have 1 portal. 8 | 4 | Now you're thinking | Have 50 portals. 8 | 5 | Dimensional shift | Have 100 portals. 8 | 6 | Time warp | Have 1 time machine. 8 | 7 | Alternate timeline | Have 50 time machines. 8 | 8 | Rewriting history | Have 100 time machines. 9 | 1 | Antibatter | Have 1 antimatter condenser. 9 | 2 | Quirky quarks | Have 50 antimatter condensers. 9 | 3 | It does matter! | Have 100 antimatter condensers.  9 | 4 | Builder | Own 100 buildings.  9 | 5 | Architect | Own 400 buildings.  9 | 6 | Engineer | Own 800 buildings.  9 | 7 | Enhancer | Purchase 20 upgrades.  9 | 8 | Augmenter | Purchase 50 upgrades.  10| 1 | Upgrader | Purchase 100 upgrades.  10| 2 | One with everything | Have at least 1 of every building.  10| 3 | Mathematician | Have at least 1 antimatter condenser, 2 time machines, 4 portals, 8 alchemy labs and so on (128 farms, grandmas, and cursors)  10| 4 | Base 10 | Have at least 10 antimatter condensers, 20 time machines, 30 portals, 40 alchemy labs and so on.  10| 5 | Centennial | Have at least 100 of everything.  10| 6 | Golden cookie | Click a golden cookie.  10| 7 | Lucky cookie | Click 7 golden cookies.  10| 8 | A stroke of luck | Click 27 golden cookies.  11| 1 | Fortune | Click 77 golden cookies.  11| 2 | Leprechaun | Click 777 golden cookies.  11| 3 | Cookie-dunker | Dunk the cookie.  11| 4 | Elder nap | Appease the grandmatriarchs at least once.  11| 5 | Elder slumber | Appease the grandmatriarchs at least 5 times.  11| 6 | Elder calm | Declare a covenant with the grandmatriarchs.  11| 7 | Sacrifice | Reset your game with 1,000,000 cookies baked.  11| 8 | Oblivion | Reset your game with 1,000,000,000 cookies baked.  12| 1 | From scratch | Reset your game with 1,000,000,000,000 cookies baked.  12| 2 | Nihilism | Reset your game with 1,000,000,000,000,000 cookies baked.  12| 3 | Uncanny clicker | Click really, really fast.  12| 4 | Neverclick | Make 1 million cookies by only having clicked the big cookie 15 times.(Previously Shadow achievement)

Additionally, there are several special (cheating/hard to get) achievements that do not show up until unlocked. These achievements do not give milk.

• Black cat's paw: Click 7777 golden cookies.
• Cheated cookies taste awful: Hack in some cookies.
• God complex³: Name yourself Orteil.
• Hardcore¹: Get to 1,000,000,000 cookies baked with no upgrades purchased.
• Speed baking I¹: Get to 1,000,000 cookies baked in less than 35 minutes played time.
• Speed baking II¹: Get to 1,000,000 cookies baked in less than 25 minutes played time.
• Speed baking III¹: Get to 1,000,000 cookies baked in less than 15 minutes played time.
• True Neverclick: Make your first 1,000,000 cookies without any big-cookie clicks.
• Just plain lucky³: You have 1 chance in 500,000 every second of earning this achievement.
• Getting even with the oven²: Defeat the Sentient Furnace in the factory dungeons.
• Now this is pod-smashing²: Defeat the Ascended Baking Pod in the factory dungeons.
• Chirped out²: Find and defeat Chirpy the dysfunctioning alarm bot.
• Follow the white rabbit²: Find and defeat the elusive sugar bunny.

_{¹ You cannot use heavenly chip upgrades
² Only available on 1.037 beta ³ These achievement's icons aren't shown}

NOTES

Most achievements are pretty self-explanatory, but these notes should help you with the others.

• Elder (Own every type of grandma) does not require Anti-Grandma
• Cookie-dunker (Dunk the cookie) requires you to re-size the screen.
• Uncanny Clicker (Fast clicks) you need 5 clicks in a third of a second or less
• "Reset your game with X cookies baked" are cascading (i.e. if you achieve Nihilism you also unlock the other 3).
• True Neverclick (1 mil cookies, no cookie clicks) can be done with 2 Golden Cookies to get enough for a cursor. The only clicks that count against this are ones on the big cookie.
• Cheated cookies taste awful can be done a number of ways. Those are Spawning a Golden Cookie, Having more cookies than total cookies earned, or simply unlocking the achievement Game.Win('Cheated cookies taste awful').

So far I got:

• 16 achievements for the total amount of baked cookies (1, 100, 1'000, -> all powers of 10 up to 10¹³ = 10'000'000'000'000 except 10; plus 5'000'000'000, 50'000'000'000 and 500'000'000'000)
• 10 achievements for the maximum CpS so far, cookie frenzies count here as well (1, 10, ... -> all powers of 10 up to 10⁹ = 1'000'000'000)
• Just wrong Sell a grandma
• Elder Own every grandma type
• Builder/Architect/Engineer Own 100/400/800 buildings
• Enhancer/Augmenter/Upgrader Purchase 20/50/100
• One with everything Have at least 1 of every building
• Mathematician Have at least 1 time machine, 2 portals, 4 alchemy labs, 8 shipments etc. (128 max, so you only need 128 cursors, not 256)
• Base 10 Have at least 10 time machines, 20 portals, 30 alchemy labs, 40 shipments and so on
• Centennial Have 100 of each building
• Golden cookie/Lucky cookie/A stroke of luck/Fortune/Leprechaun click 1/7/27/77/777 golden cookies
• Cookie-dunker resize the screen such that the cookie is in milk and click it
• Elder nap/slumber Appease the grandmatriarchs at least once/five times
• Elder calm Declare a covenant with the grandmatriarchs
• Sacrifice/Oblivion/From scratch/Nihilism (soft-)resetting the game with one million (10⁶) / one billion (or milliard in BE, i.e. 10⁹) / one trillion (10¹²) / one quadrillion (10¹⁵) cookies baked (since last reset)
• Uncanny clicker Click really, really fast

• Cheated Cookies taste awful-Hack in some cookies
• Hardcore-Get to 1 Billion cookies baked with no upgrades purchased
• Speed baking I-Get to 1 million cookies baked in 35 minutes
• Speed baking II-Get to 1 million cookies baked in 25 minutes
• Speed baking III-Get to 1 million cookies baked in 15 minutes
• True never click-Make 1 million cookies with no cookie clicks